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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Jul 21 2008, 5:45 PM EDT (current) | abulhossain | 277 words deleted |
| Jan 31 2007, 2:52 PM EST | Anonymous | 95 words deleted |
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Religion in the South
The religious South is primarily made up of Christian Protestants, although there are healthy Jewish communities as well as Catholic congregations in the metropolitan areas. While immigrants have also brought Islam, Buddhism, and other faiths to the area, all of them combined are still vastly outnumbered by Protestants. (For a really unique Southern-bred church, check out Detectives for Christ.)
There are many different types of Protestants. We’ve got Methodists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, and the Church of Christ, but when you’re talking religion in the South, you are talking primarily the Southern Baptist Church. Being a Baptist requires a full dunking, not a little sprinkling like in those other sissy religions. Another plus about being a Baptist is the proclamation by the church that wives should “graciously submit” to their husbands. President Bill Clinton is a Southern Baptist, as is Billy Graham and Jerry Falwell. Chuck Norris is a Baptist as well, and has personally given Satan a roundhouse kick to the head.
Chuck Norris and the Baptists can’t hold a candle to the Holiness Pentecostal movement, though. These are the folks that don’t believe it’s really church unless you got snakes. They believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible, especially that passage in the book of Mark that states, “And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.” All while playing rock-and-roll gospel music. Now that’s what we call church!
